My Son getting bigger and bigger

Please take a moment to see my son's photos :) he is now 20 months old. Totally bigger than before, but he never loses his 'sipit' eyes when he laughed.

He likes to sing, likes to talk much in blablabla words. He loves watching "Upin & Ipin" a cartoon film made by Malaysian. I have to get rid all 'angers' on Malaysia's claims upon our cultures, to know that my son is fond of Upin & Ipin! It is entertaining instead, full of morals for kids (of course mainly 'served' in their tradition forms). But my son likes it. Period. No matter it's day or night, whenever he wants it, just play it and he will calmly sit and pay attention to the TV.

Now, he is able to say "I'm scare". Don't know where he gets this word, perhaps from Upin & Ipin? Or from me? Uuugh... I regret that sometimes I forget not to scare him. Sometimes to make a child obey our request like "Don't go out it's dark! Dark is scary ..." the child records our words and expression. So, dark is scary and perhaps that's why now my son can say "I'm scare" when it's dark :(

The other picture shows me riding the ATV with him. I love this pic, one of my fave. My husband and I are fans of Valentino Rossi, that's why we gave our son a name that some of it are part of VR's name. Valereo. I don't mean to make him has to be a biker. But our prayer is that my son has a heart like a champion. Rossi is a champion in motorbike arena. Everytime he fails, he gets up and tries again. Never give up to any handycaps in front. Humble and just enjoy his life.

My son...my son...you are the power source of my life. When I feel so lonesome, I remember a guardian angel has been placed just near me. Wathcing your smile, 'sipit' eyes...recharged my energy. Hard to describe a mother's feeling to her children. I love you son...

Lonely

Almost a month we live separately in a distance. Not really a distance, still in Indonesia. But the feeling is completely uncomfortable for me. Someone said that this type of long distance marriage was vulnarable ouuuchhh...perhaps by then I felt the common feeling like : in blue. lonely. powerless.
My husband has been working in Central Kalimantan since July 2009. At the first time, it was no big deal for me, as long as my son with me :) but then I realized this choice takes risks. Rising a kid alone is not good at all. We lost so many fun time together. My son has a time gap of losing his man profile. What he has are a mom and his nanny. No man's world. Sad...I'm so sad.
But I have to hang on. Because this has been our decission. We both must work for our future. For our children's future, their education will cost a lot. Sometimes hard to encourage myself to realize that. All I want is he is here. But life is about challenging times. Maybe it's twice harder but I believe that God is empowering me, my husband and my son. I am sure many couples have the same challenge like ours. Living in long distance marriage.
God help us.

The Moments

Dear blog reader,

Thanks for visiting my veranda. How are you doing? I hope you're ll fine and enjoy most of your working time. It's been very long time not to greet you all. I think I'm kinda lazy to type my updates. So many happened, and so many went by without any documents. I regret it, but anyway...here I am. Ready to share with you.

Well...first of all of course I need to tell you about my son. The last time I shared he was just 6 months and cute! Now, he would be 14 months by the end of this month. I see him growing like a tree. We never realized whenever the flower is blossoming, but it's true, it blossoms! He runs and walk anywhere he wants, sure by holding his mom or dad's hand, coz he's still affraid to walk and run on his own. His hair is much like his dad's but his eyes truly is mine! He is now fond of talking much unknown words. Trying to record some of my words, and retell them to us. So funny. Time is fast seeing him grow. My son is my story.

But, I have to admit that there was big loss I experienced recently. Yes, I lost my grandma. Not precisely lost, coz I believe she is somewhere now. She passed away exactly one day before his 73 birthday. Not a coinsidence I think. She has prepared that well. God and her. Nobody else knows but them both. I lost once more another super women with her extraordinary passions. Her strengths reminds me of my mom who was 10 years ago has already passed away. Until their limit of their strength, they surrendered completely without a fight. Just calm and rest. That's all I know.

Thank you so much grandma. I can't tell you how much I lost you but truly, you are in my blood, in my son's blood. Forever....

This has been a year of having moments of receiving andweaving goodbye the ones I love. I received a baby from Heaven, I also weaving goodbye for grandma back to Heaven.

I thanked God for the moments. Reminds me of keeping this journey close to Him. For He is the source of every moments happen in my life. Thank you...