Fall in Love with A Stranger

Here I come again guys...a friend of mine just asked me with her frowning head, "How could you fall in love with your husband?" For her, it's quite weird since we are not from the same ethnics, me is Javanese and my husband is a Dayaknese. She just was wondering how come I fall in love with 'the stranger'?
I said to her, it was a very long story. I need about 8 years to decide which was finally...Yes. Then I started to tell her the history of it.

I used to be a very idealistic girl, I was spirited, active in all such kind of things that made me feel alive. I joined the study club, the journalistic media for youth in my town, etc. But above all...I was a very nervous girl to get in touch with boys. I always kept a distance to those who tried to get close with me. I never had a serious relationship with boys for a very long time. If I liked somebody in the past, I tend to be great pretender; I avoided him if he saw me or passed me by. Then if he went away at last, I felt soooo...disappointed. I was actually wished that he chased me anyway. I just pretend that I didn't like him; it was not the truth...but that what mostly happen, I appeared as an untouchable girl.
After very long period, at 19 years old...I felt so so so really need a boyfriend. I miss to have a boyfriend. I don't know why. But, you know, I was very young....I had an imaginary "must" have man in my life hehe....since I was crazy about all things that has something to do with Indian (American Native Indian), so I really wanted to have an Indian man as my boyfriend haha...since then I always fond of any men who has long hair! It was foolish I think now. In my mind, an Indian man is very manly man. I can't describe it, just fond of it.
I began asking God for 'Indian Man' in Indonesia version.
And then just 3 months before I met that boyfriend, I saw a falling star! I whispered in my heart, "Lord...I need a boyfriend, please send him to me". It was not sent directly after that hehe...I need to wait again. Very long waiting, but my heart was so sure.
Then the time has come. I met my boyfriend in coincident event. Never cross in my mind that he would be my boyfriend. He was entirely not in my dictionary. I just let him come in my life.
He came only two weeks before my mother passed away. Surprisingly, at the time he came in my life, he also just lost his parents too, both father and mother! When I was still in wounded time, he gave me a book that made me reflect on my losing time. I was amazed. This man offered me GOD instead of giving me advice like what commonly people did to me at that time.
Married with someone not from the same ethnics was completely new for my family and I was the only girl in my big family who dares to do that. Breaking the habit! I finally married a man from Central Kalimantan. Now, I live with him and our son in Palangka Raya, Central Kalimantan.
Letting his daughter away from home and big family sounds not a happy end for my father but he has to I smile to God for He has answered my prayer though I just realized that lately. God didn’t bring to me someone who’s entirely like in my dictionary but he brought to me a man who fears of him. The funny thing is, when I asked Indian Native American, He brought to me a Dayak man (let me say, ok, Dayak is mostly look alike Indian haha…).
That’s why I choose my man. And my friend laughed and said, “I see…” Aaah…come on…

Heart Like A Gold

Let me greet you all my friends...how are you doing? I am absolutely fine and I'm glad to be here in this worlwide web! Well...I left my veranda for so long (as I always do), it's because I don't have access to my internet for so long too. I did not wanna blame this situation, I just realized that I didn't really strugle to have the access back! Simply I can say, the situation is now getting better and now is the right time to write down the story.
No no, I don't have any stories. Last story I wrote was about my new experience in my new second hometown. Nothing changed, I still enjoy it a lot. Except some very interesting patern I found recently here, I began to notice that many women here have heart like a gold! In terms of keeping their family sticks together. Perhaps my judgment is not too objective, since I subjectively seen this in my near neighbourhood which is my own sister in laws. My three sisters in law are definitely I can say perfect women for their couple. They serve their husband devotedly. Obey their husband, I never heard them yeled at her husband like me sometimes. They never grumbled though they are now in the position as the bread winner. They keep their mouth shut. Working as they sould, thanking God for every single thing they got even in the very hard situation when they need support from their husband in terms of fund support for the family. They keep working working working and praying.
It didn't happen to me. When I became the bread winner like them in the past, I couldn't easly accept it. I hate it. I wanted to change it! I push my husband to work, look for job, whatever it is. Many times we fought just to end the discussion about that "working" theme. I don't like to be the bread winner, I love to see my husband grab his winning bread too. We are partner, have the equal position to win as a team to gain the bread.
I know now that I've inserted hatred in my heart that time. I didn't talk to my husband with love. I talk to him because I hate to see him jobless. That is why we fought many times just to talk about it. I didn't not pray to God or I pray but actually just "talk too much to God". Always dead ends.
Thank God, now He has brought us at that equal situation. Now, we both are working. In some part, I am luckier than my three sisters in law. But in the other part I am not lucky as them as they have a heart like a gold. Where every time they are tired they cry silently, they pray for their husband, they keep their mouth silent but let their heart talk a lot to God.
I want to have that such kind of heart. A heart that was not inserted by hatred. Coz once we say " I do " means the rest of our life we "do" with love.
I love you honey...I am sorry for being so rude in the past (perhaps now sometimes hehe...) that made you hurt. You have shown me your strugle, your passion to your family, and most of all, you prove that you love me as you promise in front of God oneday. Love you forever....