Heart Like A Gold

Let me greet you all my friends...how are you doing? I am absolutely fine and I'm glad to be here in this worlwide web! Well...I left my veranda for so long (as I always do), it's because I don't have access to my internet for so long too. I did not wanna blame this situation, I just realized that I didn't really strugle to have the access back! Simply I can say, the situation is now getting better and now is the right time to write down the story.
No no, I don't have any stories. Last story I wrote was about my new experience in my new second hometown. Nothing changed, I still enjoy it a lot. Except some very interesting patern I found recently here, I began to notice that many women here have heart like a gold! In terms of keeping their family sticks together. Perhaps my judgment is not too objective, since I subjectively seen this in my near neighbourhood which is my own sister in laws. My three sisters in law are definitely I can say perfect women for their couple. They serve their husband devotedly. Obey their husband, I never heard them yeled at her husband like me sometimes. They never grumbled though they are now in the position as the bread winner. They keep their mouth shut. Working as they sould, thanking God for every single thing they got even in the very hard situation when they need support from their husband in terms of fund support for the family. They keep working working working and praying.
It didn't happen to me. When I became the bread winner like them in the past, I couldn't easly accept it. I hate it. I wanted to change it! I push my husband to work, look for job, whatever it is. Many times we fought just to end the discussion about that "working" theme. I don't like to be the bread winner, I love to see my husband grab his winning bread too. We are partner, have the equal position to win as a team to gain the bread.
I know now that I've inserted hatred in my heart that time. I didn't talk to my husband with love. I talk to him because I hate to see him jobless. That is why we fought many times just to talk about it. I didn't not pray to God or I pray but actually just "talk too much to God". Always dead ends.
Thank God, now He has brought us at that equal situation. Now, we both are working. In some part, I am luckier than my three sisters in law. But in the other part I am not lucky as them as they have a heart like a gold. Where every time they are tired they cry silently, they pray for their husband, they keep their mouth silent but let their heart talk a lot to God.
I want to have that such kind of heart. A heart that was not inserted by hatred. Coz once we say " I do " means the rest of our life we "do" with love.
I love you honey...I am sorry for being so rude in the past (perhaps now sometimes hehe...) that made you hurt. You have shown me your strugle, your passion to your family, and most of all, you prove that you love me as you promise in front of God oneday. Love you forever....