July 2007
It had been about two weeks, a week after my wedding day and just a week after my honeymoon; suddenly my emotion changes a lot. I was easily got mad to my husband without any reason. I was easily felt abandoned, I felt like I need more attention from my husband and I was easily felt jealous. I made my husband confused and we often had a fight due to this confusing situation.
I found myself still fully loaded with unstable emotional situation. Everything seemed to be wrong for me and my husband as a closest side became 'victim' of my anger. I didn't know why that happened to me. But inside my heart I begin to suspect 'something wrong' inside of me, but I let it flow. I just didn't want to make high expectation for anything; it was just too fast I think.
In this 3rd week of July, I became more curious since I didn't get my menstruation which is usually due every end of month. I just waited and once again let it flow, didn't expect for too much. But the unstable emotional changes still happened, I felt so tired with that.
Finally what I had been waiting for happened. I got my menstruation period, but there was something weird because it lasted for almost a week. It was strange for me since I usually got it for about 3-5 days only. It was also weird because it was not bloody at all, only a browned colour flack in my pants. I was curious because it never happened before. I also felt that my breast was hurt and hard like a stone every time I touched.
It had been about two weeks, a week after my wedding day and just a week after my honeymoon; suddenly my emotion changes a lot. I was easily got mad to my husband without any reason. I was easily felt abandoned, I felt like I need more attention from my husband and I was easily felt jealous. I made my husband confused and we often had a fight due to this confusing situation.
I found myself still fully loaded with unstable emotional situation. Everything seemed to be wrong for me and my husband as a closest side became 'victim' of my anger. I didn't know why that happened to me. But inside my heart I begin to suspect 'something wrong' inside of me, but I let it flow. I just didn't want to make high expectation for anything; it was just too fast I think.
In this 3rd week of July, I became more curious since I didn't get my menstruation which is usually due every end of month. I just waited and once again let it flow, didn't expect for too much. But the unstable emotional changes still happened, I felt so tired with that.
Finally what I had been waiting for happened. I got my menstruation period, but there was something weird because it lasted for almost a week. It was strange for me since I usually got it for about 3-5 days only. It was also weird because it was not bloody at all, only a browned colour flack in my pants. I was curious because it never happened before. I also felt that my breast was hurt and hard like a stone every time I touched.
August 2007
In this time, I tried not to be stubborn, I bought some test packs to test whether or not I was pregnant, according to the initial symptoms I felt. It was shocking! Yes! I was positive. But still I couldn't believe that fast. I didn't tell my husband, I keep it in my heart since I was still curious about the flack that was looked like menstruation I got. It was confusing for me. Was it true I was pregnant or the test pack was wrong?
Again, I tried to use a test pack. This time I kept in mind, this was the last trial. And again the result was positive. I told my husband about this and also about my one week last bleeding. I ask my auntie what it was and she suggested us to check it up to the doctor since according to her experience, these symptoms sometimes indicated an early abortion of the fetus. That was right; the doctor said that I got bleeding which could harm my baby if I was late checking it to the doctor. Suddenly I felt so sad, I didn't want to lose the baby, so according to the doctor's suggestion, and I must have a one week full bed rest.
After knowing that I was pregnant and had a bed rest, suddenly all the unstable emotional changes I felt recently was gone! I felt so happy but also worried of losing my baby. My husband supported me a lot, he was also happy to hear the good news. He was always beside me to serve anything I wanted. He also took me to the doctor to check up. We were gladly informed this good news to our parents, families and our workmates. They showed happy reaction too and told us to take good care of our baby. The world was so bright for us. We were going to be Mom and Dad!
Now, situation became more normal again. I was back to work so did my husband. There were no worries anymore; we let God take care of everything including our baby. The baby was fine; I consumed vitamins from the doctor and have him checked once every month. A special feeling loaded my heart. I was not alone anymore. There was my child with me, so I must be careful with what I did and what I ate. I didn't want to neglect my child. (to be continued)
Again, I tried to use a test pack. This time I kept in mind, this was the last trial. And again the result was positive. I told my husband about this and also about my one week last bleeding. I ask my auntie what it was and she suggested us to check it up to the doctor since according to her experience, these symptoms sometimes indicated an early abortion of the fetus. That was right; the doctor said that I got bleeding which could harm my baby if I was late checking it to the doctor. Suddenly I felt so sad, I didn't want to lose the baby, so according to the doctor's suggestion, and I must have a one week full bed rest.
After knowing that I was pregnant and had a bed rest, suddenly all the unstable emotional changes I felt recently was gone! I felt so happy but also worried of losing my baby. My husband supported me a lot, he was also happy to hear the good news. He was always beside me to serve anything I wanted. He also took me to the doctor to check up. We were gladly informed this good news to our parents, families and our workmates. They showed happy reaction too and told us to take good care of our baby. The world was so bright for us. We were going to be Mom and Dad!
Now, situation became more normal again. I was back to work so did my husband. There were no worries anymore; we let God take care of everything including our baby. The baby was fine; I consumed vitamins from the doctor and have him checked once every month. A special feeling loaded my heart. I was not alone anymore. There was my child with me, so I must be careful with what I did and what I ate. I didn't want to neglect my child. (to be continued)
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